Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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