Your dad touched me again.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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