I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
