They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
