Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
