finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
