i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
