I'd wear matching sweaters with you
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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