plz talk dirty to me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
