No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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