We won't sleep together?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Found the puke drawer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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