my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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