i jhust puked up my retainher.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
