we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
