Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
