I'm going to jail i love you
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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