u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
