Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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