Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
