he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
