I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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