We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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