His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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