its not stalking. its research.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
