you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
