He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
