I CAN MOONWALK!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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