Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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