The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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