sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
