i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
