Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
