return my video game
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
