what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
