How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Green mimosas i think yes
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
