He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
