this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
