Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
