I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
