you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
