I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Drake has all the answers
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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