can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
