I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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