and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
