My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
