Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
