I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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