You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
