I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
