idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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