So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
